I love a good breakup. Sure, a breakup can come with a ton of emotions, most of them gut wrenching, tear producing, “How will I survive this,” kind of pain. In the long run, however, a breakup can be a beautiful thing for both parties. A break up is an opportunity to reassess your relationship goals and redirect your life. A breakup is a do over, something we get very few chances to do in life. A breakup is a chance to venture out of your comfort zone and rearrange the way you live love.

Breakups are beautiful, refreshing, and oh, so empowering. I mean, let’s face it: Something was not working in your relationship that caused it to end. As bummed out and pain stricken as you may be, I assure you that you can and will survive your breakup. In fact, your breakup is actually a very exciting time in your life!. Why? Because, now is the time to reinvent yourself. Now is the time to grab your life by the nap of the neck and shake things up. The new you will emerge as a positive, desirable, self-assured single that is about to start an exciting journey to find the next love of your life.

Breakups are beautiful and necessary. It is called a “breakup” because it is broken and one (or both) of you finally had the gumption to end it. I know, I know. He told you he loved you. You met his family. The sex was mind-blowing. You talked about a future together. That trip you took together to Australia was magical. You even shared a dog named “Fluffy.” And now, it’s over. Believe it or not, that is great news! For love to be dynamic, it has to be mutual. He needs to adore you just as much or more than you adore him. A lop-sided love will not last for the long haul.

I am not suggesting you and your ex did not love each other at one time. Nor am I suggesting you were not a really cool chick that he liked to hang out with. The fact is, one of you were not the other’s long-term choice for a husband or wife. It’s ok and you are going to be ok. In fact, you are going to be better than ok. Thank goodness he dumped you (or vice versa) or ten more years could have gone by before you get this incredible opportunity to find a new and lasting love!

A good breakup will propel you forward in life. A breakup, if done correctly, will rattle you to make some better choices that will result in better love. I promise you, in no time at all, you will be looking back at your past relationship and cringe at the fact you stayed in it for so long. That is not to say your relationship was not wonderful at one time. Chances are you were both equally smitten with each other once upon a time.  However, relationships evolve and quite often the evolution will create a divide in the dynamic you once shared as a couple. Hey, it happens. And it’s all right. You are not allotted only one deep love throughout your lifetime. If you are lucky enough to find lasting love on your first try, that’s wonderful. If it takes you several tries to find enduring love, that’s ok too. Whatever roadmap guides you to long-term love is the road you need to travel.

A good breakup can bring you many incredible opportunities. A proper breakup will force you to get out there and recreate your life. Obviously, what you “have” together has turned into “had” together and your versions of bliss are now very different. In a proper relationship, BOTH parties need to be in sheer bliss. In a healthy relationship, neither blissful party dumps the other when they feel someone better has come along.

Although I do think breakups can be beautiful, I do not want to minimize the pain of a breakup. Breakups hurt like hell. A breakup can feel like your heart has been chewed up and ripped out. Oh, and that awful pain in the pit of your stomach is nothing short of debilitating. Unfortunately, you must go through the pain to get over the pain. But I promise you, with time, you will recover. You will move on and you will look back and realize what you did have together was really not all that strong or committed. Remember, for a breakup to happen, something was broken. Devoted couples do not break up.

One-sided love is really no love at all. You do not need to know the reasons behind the breakup. Who cares what the reasons are. Do you really want to morph yourself into someone you are not in order to “win” back someone’s love? Of course you don’t. Minute by minute, day by day, you will feel better and you will get stronger.

Do you really want to be with someone who does not adore every inch of you? I don’t think so. A breakup is the perfect time to get motivated about your future and the love that lies ahead. Each relationship that does not work out will put you one step closer to the relationship you were meant to be in. A good breakup will breathe life into your deflated, stalled and obviously broken past love life.

I want you to fly high and soar into lasting and better love. Your breakup attitude will determine your future relationship altitude. Pinch your hand, HARD, when thoughts of your ex enter your head. Your ex is not paying rent in your brain so keep thoughts of him out. Redirect your energy to life changing strategies. Start a new hobby. Learn to surf. Go on Match.com and find the real love of your life. Do something for you. Change something. Learn something. Take a class. Start running. Take up yoga. Let your breakup result in something constructive for you and your incredible future. I promise you, you will thank your ex later.